It has been a fun and crazy few weeks as I planned a few surprises to celebrate my husband’s 50th as epically as I could. As we are in the one-week between his birthday and our anniversary, here is a bit of our story.
Sometime in 1993 or 1994, my dad asked if I would drop him off at a friend’s business so that they could go for lunch. As I was trying to pull out of the industrial area parking lot, I could hear some voices yelling and calling out my name. I looked up to see two guys I had recently met at this church I had just started attending. These guys worked at the company next door and they asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I can’t remember the context, but at this lunch, one of these guys, my hilarious future husband, pretended the soy sauce bottle was a hidden mic and for many more years there would be totally platonic meals where friendship was created.
For many years after we met, we were great friends and nothing more. We dated other people and were friends with each other’s ex’s. Several years and seasons later, we were both single at the same time, hanging out like we would normally do, but something changed. Three weeks after we had started dating, K asked me when I would be ready to marry him. It seemed fast, but really not, all at the same time. We had known each other for 7 years and hung out with the same group of friends, we didn’t really have a lot of secrets from each other, and we already knew that there would always be a lot of laughing when we were together.
10 days ago I surprised him with a room of about 150 people at a dinner and dance to 80’s music. For several years I’ve known that he wanted to throw an 80’s dance, but we never managed to pull it together. Thank God for my life of leisure (haahaaa), which made it very possible and easy to get it all together. I seriously have amazing friends, and I can’t believe no one spilled the beans. His reaction was; shock, tears, then noticing his favourite DJ on the stage across the room. It was so awesome, I sort of want to yell “SURPRISE” every time he enters a room now.
We are 2 days away from celebrating our 16th year wedding anniversary. Around this time, every year, we say, “hope we make it”, referring to our next anniversary. I’ve said it more than once that I married a comedic genius. We’ve had a crazy and amazing life and it was so great to celebrate him this past month. Most people that know us, know that we like to laugh and enjoy life. We have had many challenging seasons, but we’ve had more seasons of laughter, joy and so so so much fun. My husband is FUN and I feel like I have full rights to brag about that.
Early on in our marriage, we decided we wouldn’t make decisions based on fear. This is one of the pillars, I think, that allows us to have great adventures. Sometimes there are sacrifices to get to the fun, but it’s always been worth it. Some might feel that getting up at 5am to be in the audience of the Price is Right with Bob Barker isn’t worth it, but that isn’t my man.
A few years ago we got on a plane with both kids on New Year’s day after making a decision to go be with family in the neighbouring province, that same day. Tickets were bought, luggage was packed and we were on the way to the airport within 6 hours. Last fall we went to NYC after 8 days of bringing up the idea to him. We’ve grown a lot together in the last 16 years and I think we are enjoying life together even more because of it. There’s much less need for control and much more partnership as we continue.
My husband has such a pastoral heart that he can’t help but make meaningful connections everywhere he goes. One of his superhero powers is his ability to make people feel comfortable even if they’ve just met him. This superpower makes connections that sometimes provokes hearts to want more connection, and this makes life meaningful and wonderful.
For the few months that he worked retail 10 years ago, he struck up conversation with some people from out of town, that weren’t even going to purchase anything, but just wanted to see the store. Ten years later, he still keeps in touch through social media and we’ve even seen them a few times.
Several years ago, while we were eating at a sushi restaurant with a friend, another customer at a different table started chatting with my husband about drums. After their chat, that customer invited him down the block to his apartment, to show him his memorabilia collection from being a professional concert roadie. After a bit of a long wait, our friend and I started imagining crazy scenarios. Our friend asked if he should have gone to protect him, but his conundrum was that he thought it would have been bad to leave me alone in the restaurant as well. It would have been a very strange police report, and I could have easily ended that narrative with, "…and that was the last time I saw him…” We laugh now at how crazy it is that he walked off with a stranger (and his friend!), but I always have peace of mind that he’s freakishly strong and no one would know it by just looking at him. But seriously, don’t try this at home, kids.
Imagine having the ability to make friends everywhere for 50 years! It was not difficult for me to fill the room for his birthday.
Happy 50th and 16th, husband.