Follow-up and Time

I had a follow-up with my family doctor who received the reports regarding the details of my surgery. The surgeon was worried at one point that she had possibly nicked my bladder and other connections and had an urologist come in to the OR to examine my bladder and kidneys. The urologist confirmed that everything looked fine and I am thankful.

While it is great that everything is in tact, what my doctor’s understanding from this report was, there was a lot of manipulation and tugging internally during my surgery. And this means I will likely have a lot of internal pain and soreness from bruising.

Conclusion, my recovery will take time. I didn’t have a normal procedure and by reading between the lines with all the complications that occurred in the OR, the doctor said there’s only one remedy: time.

I am increasingly aware of how different my scheduled surgery was and how different my recovery will be. I have a friend that had a simple laparoscopic hysterectomy last year, when I had texted her the next morning, she was packing up to go home. I have another hyster-sister (yes, that’s a thing) that had such a huge infection after surgery; she ended up having a horrible ordeal back in the hospital. I had another friend send a message to say she had lost a high amount of blood and she had other suggestions for me. Girlfriends that have had C-sections say that my incision is twice the size of a C-section, and everyone’s recovery story is so different.

I have a condition that, simply put, makes me allergic to anti-inflammatory medication. This limits my options for pain medications, and so far, it’s brought focus on dealing with other side-effects with the one prescription I can have. But anti-inflammatory meds sound like they would really help right now.

I have been and I am also in recovery from emotional pain as well. I’ve experienced emotional hurt as an individual, but also in a corporate setting where there is something painful that happens to a big group of people. The treatment for healing or recovery is never a cookie-cutter prescription. There is so much depth to how someone experiences pain and needs recovery over one thing. Even if the incident that causes the pain sounds the same, the recovery can be so diverse for different hearts that are involved.

There’s so much on media and social media right now about the current political situation. I scroll through so many heated posts expressing so much deep emotion. The common thing I see is fear. I see people posting things out of pure grief from their fear of the unknown and what may come. The saddest thing for me is seeing people on opposite political sides then lash out at the other, calling people names, suggesting they are insane. It is, for me, one of the weirdest responses to fear I have ever seen.

The same thing is happening to a large group of people, but their reactions are so different. Some are overjoyed at some outcomes that have happened politically, but they fear their joy is in vain, and react to criticism in defensiveness. In others, it is bringing up such deep fear and pain that there seems to be only hopelessness.

It’s so hard to imagine any common ground but it feels like if we respond and judge another person’s experience in more fear, we won’t be able to find any common ground. Is it possible to not withhold love from someone you don’t agree with? Is it possible to sympathize when you don’t understand another’s pain? How do you fulfill another’s need to be ‘known and loved’, when you just don’t understand their experience? We are created uniquely, and no one’s reaction, pain or recovery can be compared to another, is what I’m learning.

I have heard and read about so many remedies that have helped others in their recovery for the surgery I had. Some needed special juice or special soup, some needed more anti-biotics, some needed a different incision medication, some needed to prop their feet up more and others needed anti-depressants. All remedies that have been suggested to me specifically, have been done in pure and sweet love and consideration.

I have been told I have a high pain tolerance so it would be so easy, in some ways, for me to plow through certain factors and just try to end my recovery as fast as I can. But that would not be what the doctor ordered, so I can’t put a timeline to when things will be back to where I’d like them to be. I am frustrated at times, feeling all sorts of hormonal responses, but I’m trying to remain thankful, praiseful, prayerful and waiting on time.

I’m trying to process my thoughts and my heart. I continue to ‘listen to my body’, and take into consideration all the factors that were and are specific to me. And finally, I’m learning to take the time I need. So as they say in hockey media, I have an undisclosed (okay, I’ve disclosed), lower body injury, and it’s day to day.